1.21.2017

Stumbling through the rain in a one horse hyundai

(Written Friday Night, when the house was quiet. Posted on Saturday!) When my van breaks down, it's a problem and it breaks down often. This morning the van wouldn't crank at all. It's a passenger van that can seat up to 15 people, Ford econo-something. When the van doesn't work, I have a backup CAR. Not ideal for hauling 9 kids but it runs, albeit quite loudly. 

I had to make two trips in order to get all the kiddos to school. The first trip was to the elementary and then middle schools. Those kids barely batted an eye when they heard the beast come roaring in front of the schools.



The second trip was painful for the teens. I happily ignored their protests and suggestions of "just drop us off a block from school". NO! Not my chowder babies! I drove the beast right up to the front door. The one horse hyundai was belching a big black plume of smoke, I knew it would fart (backfire) as soon as I put it into first gear to take off. The teens scrambled to get out as fast as possible but they were no match for momma! I let off the clutch as soon as the last door slammed shut and POW! It sounded like a cannon went off, I screamed out the passenger window "LOVE YOU! HAVE A GOOD DAY!" Teens and teachers gawking as far as the eye could see. I was laughing and waving as if I was in a parade.

I get way too much enjoyment from embarrassing the teens. It's a right of passage really. 

I finally made it back home, called the mechanics on wheels and made an appointment for Monday.
Found my shopping list, walked out the door and BOOM! Rain drops as fat as cows poured from the heavens.

Hoped into the one horse hyundai and started going down the driveway. Only to discover that the wipers were not working.  I couldn't see! 

Backed the car up to where I thought the garage should be, took out the old swing set and ran over a basketball  (that I later had to stab to make it lose air). Got out of the car and stepped right into a mud puddle.

 Walked back into the house via the garage. Tracked red mud everywhere! Went into the laundry room and stripped. Put my muddy jeans into the washer along with other muddy jeans. Phone rings, I answer it only to discover my mom had also answered. Mom is saying horny things to some "English is my 2nd language" male telemarketer.

I hang up the phone thinking "good luck to ya buddy, the only credit cards she has expired in 2008." 

Loaded the dishwasher and used a generic packet of suds. I still hadn't dressed but I needed to clean the kitchen first. Maybe I should check the dryer to see if any of my clothes were in there. Ran into the laundry room and started sorting piles of laundry by color. Darks, prints, linens, whites. 16 neat little piles ready to be washed. My bottle of Gain detergent might have 2 loads left in it. Not good.

Mom starts hollering from her room and her bell starts ringing. I look at my watch. Time for her medication! I gather up her meds and  run into her room. Mother doesn't say a word about my lack of clothes (I still had my undies on). It thunders hard, BOOM BOOM BOOM! Then the power goes out. I'm still holding the pills out to my mom and she whispers "am I dead yet?" It made me laugh out loud and THAT made her mad. Mumsey said "Well now you have to get dressed in the dark and I hope you stub your toe!" I just smiled at her and said "I do not have to get dressed because I am going back to bed. Today is my day off and I aim to enjoy it!"

I left her room after showing her the new books I downloaded for her from ohfb (Where I find tons of great freebies). Then I went upstairs to sleep through the storm.

Woke up again, around 11am. Put on some clean, dry clothes. Made my mother some lunch, took it to her room and had to argue with her to put the book down and eat her sandwich and chips. The power was still off. Can't do much cleaning with no power so I sat on the couch to start reading a book that I have to write a review for "The Bone Witch" (btw, it's epic.) Discovered my tablet only had 20% power. Not good. Went searching for my auxiliary battery charger that should have a full charge, it didn't. It had 15%. 

Called the power company to see when the power would be back on, they said it was. Ummm okay!? Crap! I forgot to call and report the power outage before my nap. Well suck a slimey toad! 

I swept the kitchen and the garage, 2pm rolled around. Still no power but at least the rain had stopped. Got on my rain boots and trudged through the muck in the yard to reach the car. Went to the elementary school and middle school to pick up the kiddos, THEN we stopped by the grocery store so I could grab some milk, eggs and chicken thighs before we started fasting and lying to the kids about why. 

Yeah it's a slippery slope when you tell your kids the reason you don't have food in the house is because the pope told us it was time to fast and pray. Or when your kids have to eat pinto beans and rice for 2 weeks (because the Pope told us too, for breakfast, lunch and dinner) because you're so far in debt it's all you can do to pay the mortgage, power and water. Not once have these kids said "We're not Catholic!" But it's coming, I feel it in my bones.

I unloaded the first batch of kids and put up the groceries when my cell phone rang. "Did you forget about us?" Asked Allie. "Nope" was my reply. Allie said "Well... you're not here." I'm thinking 'well duh'. I was getting the kids sorted out with a snack, bowls of peaches. "Start walking. I'll pick ya'll up a block from the school." Then I hung up, grabbed my keys, told Alexi to take my mom a bowl of peaches and I would be back shortly.

I stopped at the publix before I got to the pick up spot, ran inside and bought a 5lb bag of potatoes, 2 huge cans of green beans and 2 packs of Kings Hawaiian Rolls. That was going to be our dinner, along with grilled chicken. 

I passed the kids walking and made a noisy u turn. Funny how they were so happy to be riding in the beast again. I popped a cassette tape into the player and started singing "papa don't preach" to the top of my lungs!! They really hate my singing but no one complained.

We got home to our off the grid house but a short time later the power was back on. We are back on the grid!

Not all days are powerless beasts.
However, Each day on this earth IS a blessing, All we can do is enjoy the ride!
~♡~

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